No complaints.
Almost finished assembling the gift project, so... excited about that.
And also mostly satisfied with how well it's taking shape.
Not really anything else to talk about beyond what I've put out the past couple days.
So I'll leave it there.
When these conversations with Steve first kicked off earlier this year, I was enjoying them.
He gives me a solid challenge with conversations in that he typically tends to pounce on semantically incorrect things I say, or challenging my world views.
That said.
It's been five months now.
And given that we talk every single morning...
Well...
There's just not enough that you can talk about in the world—or at least, my world—without eventually exhausting the well.
And our conversations go on for a couple hours each morning.
This morning it got so bad my throat kept drying out.
And then I realized I say more words to the guy than I do literally anyone else.
Exhausted now.
In other news, life continues.
Despite best wishes to the contrary.
Was gonna post about this yesterday, but got caught up in a long conversation with Steve and then had actual work to do.
But.
I bitch about them a lot, but figure it's worth repeating.
I despise meetings.
Because of their tendency to meander into socializing. Which wouldn't be so bad if not for the fact that there's still work stuff that needs to be discussed.
But more than the social component of meetings, I dislike them because of trust issues.
Accountability.
When I have meetings now, it's to demo projects to the boss man.
And when boss man has feedback about those demos, I dilligently write them down. Because my memory is shoddy and I know it.
But when I go to execute on those notes, and we get to the next meeting, he brings up feedback about those same points.
"Is that what I said?" he asks.
"Yes," I reply.
"I don't think that's what I said. ...No, that's not what I said."
And I can't disprove that.
Because all I have are my notes.
And when you're taking notes, all you've got is proof that you wrote that down.
But maybe—just... maybe—you wrote it down wrong.
A li'l wrong here.
A li'l wrong there.
And then you're boned.
There's also the fact that I'm a very non-confrontational person.
Which lends itself into a lack of confidence.
And boss man?
Dude is confident.
Which can be a problem when I'm pretty sure he's wrong.
Because even if he is wrong, I gain nothing by proving it.
And then I start worrying that maybe I'm losing my mind.
Taking notes from a different version of reality.
That the notes I'm taking aren't actually being taken by me.
Is it gaslighting, maybe?
manipulate (someone) using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning.
Boss man doesn't strike me as the kind of guy that would intentionally do that.
But.
Trust issues.
Anyway.
I'm done for now.
Contemplating an early departure.
Because, again, I'm exhausted.
And I've got the PTO to burn.
And I'm working on a project for mama bear that I'm far more interested in than... all this.
Meh.
We'll see.
I fucking love that man.
10/10 best gate guard ever.
Found out he's from New Orleans, which... you can definitely hear it in his accent.
Charming, amazing dude.
Like, I wanna get a couple more challenge coins minted just so I can give him one.
Anyway.
Check out that timestamp.
Revel in my insanity.
Li'l bit of Alex hanging on today, so my mood is signicantly upbeat.
And on that note, I'd like to apologize for Shaw's attitude the past couple days.
Dude's been an absolute shit, and he feels like shit.
Means a restful weekend is just a few short hours away.
And also Hangry Joe's.
Because goddamn tradition, y'all.
Ain't nothing gonna bring me down today.
Cheers, y'all!
I've already been kicked off this damn system ten times.
I restarted my tally a bit ago, and it's been three since I decided I'd leave when it hits ten.
Really annoyed by it.
And wish this place would unfuck itself.
Because of the night before.
Wife went out to pool, which always causes distress to our youngest pup, Archer.
Li'l man is a mama's boi, and generally calms down after freaking out for twenty minutes when she leaves.
But then he got a wild hair up his ass at around 2100 and wouldn't simmer down until she got home around 0130.
Had a hard time falling asleep after that and had more weird body dissociation events.
Called out of work.
Spent most of the day asleep.
But then was able to go to sleep again at the regular time.
Enjoying the heck out of them Yakuza games.
Speeding through this entry because virtualized desktop is being flaky and randomly disconnecting.
Not thrilled.
Gonna be a not great kinda day, I think.
But will remain cautiously optimistic.