To kick start a new baby boom.

$5,000?

For real?

That'd prolly barely put a dent in the cost of the birth of the child (assuming hospital birth) without insurance.

And given that the average estimate over the life of a child is $250,000...

$5,000 isn't even a military discount to pop out a life-long problem.

South Korea, on the other hand...

Wow. $75,0000.

Granted, it's just one company (and per a Kurzgesagt video still too late to save the country), but still.

Put your money where your mouth is.

Or STFU.

Yeah.

Over the years, I've found great comfort in consistency.

Done what I could to nurture it in others.

And generally force it where possible.

That said.

I gotta get better about rolling with the punches.

Or at least give the impression about better rolling.

Anyway.

Yesterday's last appointments with the VA disability contractors went surprisingly well.

Blood pressure was still high.

And then they gave me an ultrasound.

On my chest, belly, and throat.

And because I've got kind of a wacky diet, my belly dolphins were playing around.

Belly dolphins being the name I give the sounds that come from my belly.

And there were points during each scan area where the speakers of the machine would come on.

So when they scanned my belly...

"Reeeeeeeeeooooooo roooooo... reeeeeeeeeeoooo!

Oh god, that's mortifying.

But it's over.

And now it's just a matter of the VA reviewers to do their job and... review.

Not much on deck for today.

Work should be quiet and quick, and then launch into the weekend for a whole lot of goddamn nothing.

Printed out the parts for articulating claws.

Assembled one of them.

Quite neat.

Anyway.

Happy Friday, y'all.

Cheers.

Because raisins.

Started off the day 4/10.

Opened Outlook.

26 emails.

A good number of them were irrelevant, but there were a specific few that rubbed me the wrong way.

So now I'm at about a 2/10.

Steadily recharging. Having food in my gut helps now, and being able to just zone out and do work.

But man.

Not great.

And yesterday was also pretty shitty.

I've made it a policy of mine where if I have an appointment in the morning, I'm just going to take PTO to avoid the whole work day.

Usually this is because I don't want to deal with the hassle of traffic and parking.

But yesterday was... I was absolutely worthless after the appointment.

...More worthless than usual.

Appointment was at 0800. But it'd rained for a couple hours beforehand.

And I can't trust drivers to be intelligent under optimal conditions, so I left at 0645.

Got there at 0723 and waited.

0800 exactly, they open the doors.

Walk in, fill out the intake sheet and give it back.

"You didn't complete the second page," the receptionist says.

"Oh," I reply. "It's because I have no idea why I'm here."

"Your appointment says 'dry eyes'."

"Ah."

Complete it and turn it in.

0830 they finally call me back.

Put some spicy numbing drops in my eyes.

And then the pupil dilating ones.

So now my eyes were heavy from the numbing drops and I couldn't see shit in my near sight.

0850 the doctor sees me.

Asks how long I've had the issue.

Correctly ties it to the PRK I got back in 2010.

Asks when my last eye exam was.

And then whether or not I'd brought it up at those eye exams.

"No."

"Well why not?"

"Because I've normalized it."

"I see. Well, next eye exam make sure to bring it up."

But... for fucking why, though?

From what I was told at surgery time, it was an expected side effect of the procedure and the only mitigation for it was eye drops.

"Alright, well. In case I don't see you again: have a great summer."

You won't.

Because you're in Norfolk.

And I detest Norfolk.

Leaving was an absolute nightmare because they dump you out right on Church street, and there's a giant shrub blocking your view of oncoming traffic.

People were driving like they had elderly folk and babies made out of glass.

And after I got home, it took a good six hours for my near vision to normalize.

So.

Yeah.

Would've been less than worthless if I'd actually gone in.

And now I've got a demo to do.

Which I'm not excited for.

But talking with the dev on the project, he seems optimistic about it.

So...

Cautious optimism, aye.

Which each passing appointment I have with the VA folk, I feel like my words are being heard and the right shit is being put in there.

Was utterly exhausted yesterday but still managed to soldier on until about 1930 when my body said it was done.

Went to bed and woke up at 2230.

Went to bed for the last time around 0030 and, though I dreamed, I felt exhausted in the dream.

Lately I've been having a lot of weird things going on.

Feeling... dissociated from my own body.

I'm consciously aware of the stuff around me, but it doesn't feel... real.

Kinda what I'd imagine astral projection feels like.

Except I don't go anywhere.

But I'll have an itch.

And scratch it.

But though I feel the itch being scratched, I don't acknowledge that I'm the one doing the scratching.

Then I look down, and it is indeed me.

Also had a weird episode on Sunday.

Went to lay down and my arms gave out.

Had a weird feeling in my chest.

Thought I was gonna die.

But I didn't.

Just... gotta get this 100% rating.

And then I can die with a bit more peace.

Knowing that I've won.

Alright.

Back to something vaguely resembling work.

Decided last week that I'd yield my first-in privilege to Steve.

And consequently, he was indeed the first in.

Exhausted because I couldn't get a good night's sleep.

Fortunate that I've got another appointment with the VA today, so that shortens it a bit.

Otherwise...

Nothing really worth mention.